This is certainly in no way a terrible paragraph, but you will find weaknesses whilst it demonstrates that the student is going beyond superficial summarising and interpreting the story, the ideas are struggling to make themselves heard within it, the chief of them being that. A few of the sentences lack detail or are only a little ambiguous, and also at times there was too little tight connection between many of the sentences. Different some ideas are described and introduced without ever being completely analysed or explained. As an example there’s absolutely no description for the introduction regarding the notions of temptation and happiness. The reader has to guess what the writer is really trying to express to some extent. This will be a point that is crucial you need to provide your arguments demonstrably and unambiguously, and grades will we lost in the event that marker has got to you will need to do you know what is being stated. Read more